August 2008
"Dave Thorne": KYLE KENDRICK
past intentions: I KEEP TELLING YOU AND YOU DENY HIM LIKE PETER TO JESUS
July 2008
pre-dick-shuns
kristen (2: 27 PM): GIMME MY HORRORSCOPE
Meghan (2: 27 PM): TODAY YOU WILL BECOME A RAP SUPASTAR
Meghan (2: 28 PM): NEXT YEAR YOU WILL STEAL SOMEONE'S IDENTITY
BE CAREFUL
RYDE OR DYE
that's from yahoo
kristen (2: 28 PM): i'm crying
Meghan (2: 28 PM): omg don't be sad
someday you'll make a comeback
on pimp my ride
Something shocking and a bit outrageous is going to happen today, and you need to be prepared for it. When it happens, don't react. Stop everything just for a moment and review the situation thoroughly. It is not what it looks like at first glance, so if you give in to a knee-jerk reaction now, you will be regretting it in a big way later on. Be objective, be analytical and be cautious, today. Don't let yourself get caught up in irrational emotions or fear.
kristen (2: 28 PM): x to the ibit
Meghan (2: 28 PM): SHOCKING YOUR RAP CAREER
kristen (2: 29 PM): omg, i wonder what's going to happen
Meghan (2: 29 PM): prob gonna get your own show
pimp my bike
turn huffys into gold
and at the end
Meghan (2: 30 PM): when they show the people cruising in their new whips
they'll cruise right to bob and barbara's
and share a pbr with you
kristen (2: 30 PM): i hope you know i just saved this whole conversation
Meghan (2: 30 PM): great idea, i'll put it on meghan messner.com
age theories
past intentions: i just thought to ask you while i listen to the smiths and wait for seinfeld
past intentions: wow omg
past intentions: i'm actually a 30 year old man
"Dave Thorne": LOL
past intentions: i'm cracking up right now
"Dave Thorne": god
"Dave Thorne": what time do you even get up in the morning/
past intentions: 7:30 because i like to read the news
"Dave Thorne": omg
"Dave Thorne": that's early.
past intentions: sometimes 8 if i feel like being late. it takes an hour to curl my hair and half an hour to download hendries and f around online
past intentions: so i don't leave until 9:30 then
past intentions: i know. we don't even have set hours at my office.
"Dave Thorne": awesome.
past intentions: omg i'm so old
past intentions: i was excited about my domain name
"Dave Thorne": do you watch matlock
past intentions: no
"Dave Thorne": ok
past intentions: but i do a lot of crosswords
"Dave Thorne": you're not a senior citizen yet
"Dave Thorne": wow
"Dave Thorne": depressing
past intentions: and cryptograms
"Dave Thorne": bridge?
past intentions: no.
"Dave Thorne": you're old.
"Dave Thorne": crusty messner.
past intentions: i sing jazz standards in the shower and prefer baseball on the radio
"Dave Thorne": hm
"Dave Thorne": what happened to you
past intentions: i think it's because i hate bro bars and want to be taken seriously.
past intentions: aka i need a daddy
nerd alert!
i own my domain name!
i’m pretty excited about this.
Jessica: don't act like there aren't days that you don't walk here from 19th and market!
me: i never WALK here. i walk home FROM here, but never to here.
John: did you minor in splitting hairs at temple university, messner?
me: no, american history.
i almost wasn’t going to watch the phillies game today, but then i remembered that i don’t like anything - or anyone - more than i like baseball.
go phils!
dreams
i had the weirdest dreams last night. i don’t usually share them, but i still remember them so vividly.
1) i was at a bar and someone i had never met had never had a yuengling so i immediately made him drink from my beer. a lot of people have never had a yuengling.
2) my mom came to my work with a spiced ham sandwich on italian bread with ketchup - something i was really into eating as a...
me: don't look at me like that, you look like a total creep. you're giving off a serious serial killer vibe with the lips slightly parted and the bags under the eyes that look like you've been up all night plotting my murder.
Robert: only half the night.
me: what were you doing during the other half?
Robert: feverishly masturbating.
me: great answer.
“He seemed kind and charming—his voice promised that he would take care of her,...”
– tender is the night
me: Like Michael Corleone!! Who I like more than Daniel Plainview.
Erin: HAHA NO WAY IMPOSSIBLE.
me: YES! I think Michael is better.
Erin: Haha I beg to differ. Agree to disagree. San Diego. The whale's vagina. German.
me: Wow. Michael Corleone would take Daniel Plainview in a fight.
Erin: Wow, because he has weapons. Hand to hand, mano e mano, Plainview wins.
me: No, mano a mano! Corleone!
Erin: He's like 5'8" man.
me: I don't care. He LUNGED at Diane Lane. I didn't see Daniel lunge at anyone, not even Eli. Fucking H.W. beat Daniel.
Erin: Plainview is so rustic, Corleone is a fuckin fortunate son. Creedence. No way. Who are you?
me: I'm a real man.
Erin: Okay guids.
me: You really think old, haggard Plainview would beat fresh, limber Corleone? You're mad.
Erin: Hell yes he would, in his prime, are you kidding? He broke his leg and pulled himself out of a lesser man's grave.
me: Corleone could dig that grave with one hand. And then put Plainview in it.
Erin: Haha now you're just creating Corleone fan fiction.
i thought a-rod was hot even way back in the days of rock ‘n’ jock softball. sorry dan cortese. his ex-wife is gonna make out like a bandit during these divorce proceedings AND the yankees will inevitably slump more. how terribly exciting. alex, call me.
oh duhhh
so i just watched the first godfather for the first time (ugh, i know, so embarassing) and last night i took an intermission and while i was at the bar, i said, “aww, michael corleone is so precious too.”
i had no clue that was al pacino.
my mom even gave me a blank “duh” stare when i told her.
i don’t know how i didn’t know. i could totally pick out robert...
frustrated
i get really annoyed when my simple tasks like downloading files are interrupted by the incompetence of others/mIRC. people really need to stop using IRC.
maybe it’s because i just spent six hours driving without planning ahead to bring music/hendries and therefore stuck listening to crappy pennsylvania radio (and subsequently hearing these songs all day), but these dudes are pretty amazing. thanks gawker.