Okay, I get it. I’m not the pretty girl. I’m not skinny; I have hips and curves and giant breasts. I’ve got the upper arms of my German ancestors. I’ve never been small. I’ve never been quiet. I’m good at playing dumb, but I’m not dumb. With the exception of the homeless and older married men, I rarely get told I’m “beautiful” or “cute” or anything that happens to most of the fairer sex. I’m not upset about this. I’m used to this. I’m also funny, and I love sports, and I’m well-read and can talk about anything. I’m not shy in conversations, and I’ll say controversial things just to get it going if need be. People do really like me.
Within the confines of the dating world, I know what I’m capable of and what I’m not. Occasionally it surprises me, in a good way, and I laugh and giggle about what I took home. I know when I can’t compete with another woman, and I know when I can.
I’m missing out on that great love story…or any love story. All of my relationshits were borne of a guy seeing another girl and me showering him with gifts and sex and anything to prove I’m better - because I knew I wasn’t prettier. We’d spend all our time together pseudo-dating, but there was always someone else. By the time he decided I was better, I was exhausted, and had no interest in the relationship or the person anymore, but tried to make it work just because what if this never happens again? Even guys I couldn’t convert to Team Meghan, I’d still pick their drunk asses up from bars and fuck them or sit and talk for hours about everything and hope this time was the time he’d choose me.
I still do this. I am currently doing this. And this time, I don’t think I can compete.
This is the first step in the extreme life makeover I need. I have to stop. I can’t Facebook stalk these girls at 3am. I can’t say “but he did do this…” and I can’t make excuses anymore. I may not be “hot” but I’m all right and some would say I’m pretty great company, so I know I’m the better choice.
I just wish someone would make it.
Maybe I should get that nose job someone told me I needed once.
Do not change for the world! I am neither homeless, nor an older married man, and I am tell you that you ARE beautiful.
Relationships shouldn’t be about gifts and sex, though both in relationships can be nice. Relationships should be about two people who care for each other spending time together and enjoying that time.
I used to think I had to change to be better accept, but then I stopped giving a damn about what others thought of me, and started living my life the way I wanted to because I know somewhere down the road, a woman is going to look at me, get to know me, and love me for who I am.
Basically, I don’t know you well other than what you post on here, but if you are all the time the way you are on here, you are a beautiful person, inside and out, and you don’t need to change yourself one bit to try and fit a mold, because you’re the perfect shape for your own amazing, unique, and fantastic mold.
Stay just the way you are.
Wishing you all the best,
Mike
this was wonderful. thank you, mike. and to answer your question, yes, my tumblr is the most accurate representation of my nonsensical life that i’ve created to date. this is really me.
thank you so much for your kind words.
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