driving home from the laundromat tonight, i had this sinking feeling in my stomach as i thought about it being the end of september. the majority of my summer has led to this day that i thought wouldn’t come or wouldn’t bother me when it showed up. yet it is here, tomorrow is october 1 and like a freight train coming, i cannot do a thing to stop it.

then i started to laugh while thinking about past lives and past octobers. see, history repeats itself, especially in my life and i have only ever been good at one thing: consistency in disaster. october has always been good for me and there isn’t one thing that could make that any different this year, no matter what.

before their first televised debate, john kennedy made richard nixon wait forty-five seconds alone on stage before they went on air while kennedy went to the bathroom. nixon began to perspire, looking paranoid alone on stage. kennedy came out with fifteen seconds left, adjusted his tie and crossed his legs in his seat. he was in nixon’s head without doing a thing, without saying a word.

one time i flew across the country for a vacation that didn’t go at all like i thought it would. one time i also went to a friend’s memorial day party where his girlfriend slapped him across the face after throwing a fit that i was there, and i don’t think i even spoke to him and i know we never slept together.

what’s up, october? i almost wish you had thirty-two days.