no touching
Meghan: she just wants to sleep in jeans
Meghan: is that so wrong?
Meghan: god
Steph: lol doesn't that increase you chances of yeast infection?
Steph: like sleeping with a bathing suit on
Meghan: and decreases your chances of stds
karma police sirens
Pete: do you like radiohead?
Meghan: NO
Pete: is the band just some guy crying? I can't figure it out
Meghan: pretty much
catching up with esteemed colleagues in the biz
Derek: i like how horny u make me
Derek: makes me the day go faster
Derek: thanks meghan
Meghan: hahahahahaha
drunk dial recaps
Whitney: my mom said you're the new george carlin.
Meghan: why
Whitney: because of your delivery. i told her about when you said "the best thing about fraud is those people get to keep all that shit."
this is what i say to all the boys and girls
sara: do not talk about my dads balls
meghan: i fucking love your dad's balls
meghan: i like when he puts them on my chin
sara: im going to puke
disclaimer: he's kidding. i think.
meghan: [His dick] is like a Coke can. It's girthy.
robert: Choke on that shit.
meghan: Some girls can get that down easy. It's like an art form.
robert: No way, just take Dramamine. No gag reflex.
meghan: But that makes you tired!
robert: Then you do a bump of coke and you're good! You're normal. I make all my girlfriends do that. I make them get enemas too so we can only fuck in the butt.
